Sense Of Self

I am at a blessed time in my life. I know who I am, what I like and what I don’t. I am confident in my style and comfortable in my own skin. I am becoming the daughter of God that I have wanted, the woman I looked up to when I was a little girl. And with all that confidence and comfort and knowledge I am grateful to note that

I LOVE WHO I AM!!

My dilemma comes when I try to figure out who I was. This dilemma presented itself in a recent visit with an old friend. We have been friends since 7^th grade and have had so many adventures. I LOVED her and her family and they loved me. It was quite a grand ol’ time! In our recent visit it came to mind that, because we were meeting at her house, her family and I would become reacquainted. I wondered who they expected to meet, and if I may still be that person that they loved years ago. Was I always the smart-aleky, sarcastic, yet loving person I am now? Unfortunately, I really don’t know. Maybe I just haven’t read my journals (the few I have) from the past enough to know my former self, maybe I haven’t actually changed as much as I think I have.

I remember hearing other’s opinions of me when I was younger, in stories I heard then and recollections of the past we tell now. Sometimes I honestly don’t remember being the person we talk about. I apparently used to be quite the spoiled brat (Side note: I KNOW I’m spoiled. It comes with being the youngest girl, but the part I don’t remember ever being was the brat part. I know I’ve had my days, but I don’t remember that being a permanent part of my character). Apparently I was really bratty when I was younger, especially when playing sports. When I think about that I feel kinda like Harry Potter when he realized that his dad really was a cocky jerk once upon a time. But, if that really was the case, I hope I have redeemed myself and become a better person.

On the whole, I wish I could meet my younger self with the knowledge and experiences I have now.  I think we could be great friends.